For me, the decision to binge isn't a conscious one. I don't wake up and think, "Rise and shine! Let's get crackin' and lose some of that ol' self esteem!" No, with me it's, "I'm going to be sooo good today -- IS THAT AN OREO???"

It's the daily struggle of a WLSer. Of course, having the surgery is a major leap forward, but there's always the risk of overeating, or even just obsessing, about food. It may be a week, a month, a year after recovery, but it happens. (In fact, just yesterday I could have sworn my husband's Doritos called me by name.)

Short of surgery on our stomachs (Oh...right), what can we do to combat these urges? That's the question we asked Amanda.* Amanda, like many of us, has had a problem with bingeing for most of her life. Luckily, almost twenty years ago she found help in Overeaters Anonymous (OA).

NAWLS: Thank you so much for agreeing to share with us. To get started, would you mind telling us your own story?

Amanda: Well, I always had kind of a weird relationship with food. When I was a kid, I'd go to birthday parties, and all I'd care about would be the cake -- how much I could get. I'd steal food from the lunch tables at school, and I'd visit old ladies because they had candy jars, and I'd stuff the candy into my clothes.

It's a family thing, too -- my mom, my grandparents, and my siblings (I'm the oldest of three) all had similar relationships, though I think mine was the most extreme. But my mom was always on a diet and putting me on a diet, so I never felt really satisfied -- I always got less than I wanted and tried to get more. I guess one semi-good thing that came out of it was that I wasn't incredibly obese in my childhood -- that only happened after I moved out on my own, when I could eat without my mother looking over my shoulder all the time.

That's when the huge weight gain happened, and I found I couldn't stop eating. I got depressed, and desperate.

NAWLS: What finally made you decide to give OA a try?

Amanda: Well, like I said, I was desperate.  I'd eat like a whole box of cookies or an entire cake and I couldn't stop. I literally felt panicked. Oh, and at my work, there was free food all the time -- like boxes of cookies, and I'd eat the entire box. Then I heard about OA, and, well, it was free, and there were meetings near my house, and I thought I'd give it a try.

NAWLS: Some of us are hesitant to attend an OA meeting. This might be because we think we aren't really at that "low point" at which we need to take such a "drastic" step.

Amanda: I think denial is a huge part of a disease of overeating. I would say, "I really don't eat that much. I don't eat more than anyone else. I don't know why I'm gaining weight." Even after I started attending the meetings, I still didn't think I was like "those people." I didn't think I had THAT big of a problem.

NAWLS: And how did the meetings help you?

AMANDA: I started eating better. It wasn't an all-of-a-sudden conversion, but I did start losing weight.

It was actually because of the OA meetings that I found out I had a wheat allergy, and that one of the ways that allergy manifests itself is through intense cravings. Once I went off the wheat, it became much easier to follow my eating plan. And the Twelve-Step Program really helped.

NAWLS: Could you tell us about that program?

Amanda: The first step is admitting you're powerless over food. And that's a huge challenge for a lot of us because we have that denial mentality: "I can stop whenever I want to." But really, we're powerless to do that. Basically, the whole principle behind it is changing not only our eating habits -- the outside -- but also what's inside us -- the misconceptions we have that lead us to overeat.

NAWLS: Many of us are afraid to attend any more "diet meetings" because of experience we've had in the past (like weigh-ins, huge fees, specific diet plans, etc.) What makes OA different? Could you describe a typical meeting?

Amanda: The thing I liked about OA immediately was that it wasn't about a diet. OA doesn't just address the symptoms of compulsive overeating -- it's about WHY we eat.

In a typical meeting, there's usually a designated speaker -- another compulsive overeater who has found abstinence (That's what we call it when we no longer eat compulsively.) Then they open the floor to the members -- to anyone who wants to share. We also read some literature from the Twelve-Step program or about the Tools of Recovery.

I didn't stick with the first meeting I went to; I tried out a bunch of different ones. That's what they recommend for anyone who's interested in OA -- to find a meeting and group that's right for you. And what I like is that the only requirement for membership in OA is the desire to sop eating compulsively.

NAWLS: Can OA benefit WLSers?

Amanda: Yes, I really believe it can. While WLS may address the physical issues of weight loss, OA may help to stop the compulsion to overeat.

NAWLS: Say I'm interested now and want to look into meetings in my area. How would I find one?

Amanda: There's a web site (www.oa.org) that lists all the meetings all over the world. You just type in your area and it'll give you a listing. That's how I found my group. You don't have to go through a lot of red tape to join.

NAWLS: Well, thank you so much for your time. I know our readers will appreciate learning about OA and how it can help WLSers.

Amanda: You're welcome. I really hope this helps people -- it's been such a great help for me. I couldn't have achieved and maintained my weight loss without the program. I'm still convinced of that.

*Name changed to preserve anonymity.