Okay, I'm not really a fairy godmother, but I can show you how to transform yourself!

I know several people who have had weight loss surgery (WLS) and they are gaining their weight back. Is WLS really effective?

Like so many tools available to help you lose weight, WLS is great if you really use it. What I mean is that a small stomach will not keep you from grazing and adding extra calories. Drinking with meals (which is a no-no) will allow you to eat more food. Neglecting exercise will keep your metabolism functioning less than optimally. You can cheat the surgery and/or sabotage yourself.

If you are committed to success, however, you can use WLS to change your life. The key is to make sure you are ready for it physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Physically, you must do what your surgeon requires you to do to be ready for the surgery, and follow the post-op recommendations. But don't stop there. Educate yourself about the latest information on nutritional requirements, learn how to read your blood work, and take responsibility for your own health. Don't assume your surgeon or general practitioner knows everything you need to know about maintaining your health and weight loss after surgery.

Mentally, you must develop some self knowledge so that you know where you are likely to struggle after surgery, and you must plan for that possibility and know what resources you can use to help you succeed. You'll have to work on changing old, unhelpful beliefs and establishing new patterns of thinking. 

In addition, it is your responsibility to learn everything you can about the surgery and make sure your surgeon is well trained and experienced.  

Spiritually, you will benefit from getting in touch with your inner self; your true purpose; and your relationship with God, your higher power, or the people who will support and guide you. Meditation and prayer have been scientifically proven to promote health and well being. Take advantage of that gift!

I am so sad to be giving up food. How will I handle not being able to eat?

First of all, think about the language you are using. You are not "giving up food." You are changing the way you eat so that you can live a better life. About a year after surgery you may be eating as much as 8 oz. of food per meal (it depends on the type of WLS you have). Further, there are healthy versions of most food favorites, and your taste buds do adjust. There will be some foods you will want to avoid, but you will also find new favorites -- foods you'd never imagined you would like.

I can honestly say I enjoy food more now than before my surgery. I prepare myself the highest quality, most nutrient-dense food I can afford, and I love it.

Will I have to give up sugar?

Does a groundhog have ears?

That's the million dollar question. But, the fact that you asked it makes the answer clear.

Nearly every person I've coached who is struggling with food after WLS returned to eating sugar at some point after surgery and is regretting it. Sugar has an addictive quality that is very hard to resist. Usually, we start with a little, tolerate it, and try a little more. Many people dump and continue to eat sugar!

Personally, if I were having trouble with (obsessing about, craving, sneaking, mourning the loss of) sugar I would work hard to eliminate it completely.

People hate to hear this, but sugar and chocolate are addictive. They work like a milder version of morphine and cause a variety of unpleasant symptoms, including depression.

Before I had WLS, I decided that once I was off sugar in my early post-op days I would never go back to it -- one day at a time -- but, then I relapsed after a major trauma in my life (a near-fatal bowel obstruction). It has taken me a long time to forgive myself for that!

It took me months to get back on the "wagon." I kept trying and kept trying, and finally I was relieved of that burden again. I hope I never go back to sugar. I gained weight, I felt depressed, and I lost my mojo.

But it's back!

If you are struggling with food and have gone back to eating sugar, consider attending Overeaters Anonymous (OA) meetings, or even Celebrate Recovery meetings (a church-based program). They offer great tools you can use to become abstinent from sugar.

Our private forum is a great place to get support, too.

I had bypass 6 years ago and have gained 20 pounds back.  I no longer feel like I am not hungry and I can eat all day long.  I cannot eat as much,  but now know how to get around it.  Is there a way to get the feeling of not being obsessive back?

First of all, you need to check to make sure your surgery has not been compromised. Sometimes the stoma (the opening from your stomach into your intestines) gets stretched. Sometimes a staple line can fail. You may be gaining weight for physical reasons, so make sure you check that out, even as you work on the behavioral issues that might be influencing your weight.

This web page has a guide to help overeaters. I think it is excellent. Read through the whole thing:

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Eating_Disorders/triumphant_journey/part_1/1_2.htm

You might want to consider my coaching program. A good coach and a willing client together can almost work miracles.

I also recommend Overeaters Anonymous (OA) meetings to help keep your eating in check. You might consider trying a few meetings to see if it helps. They say to go to 6 meetings before making a decision about OA.

I check in on the NAWLS forum every day, so that is another good resource for getting support to overcome your problem.

You can overcome overeating. It's a process. For today, make a food plan (don't restrict your eating -- make it reasonable portions) and stick to it no matter what. If you don't make it, try again tomorrow. Starting over (again and again, if necessary) is the best way to get back on track.