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One of my all-time favorite movies is Parenthood. Steve Martin stars as a charming and imperfect father, who has a wonderfully dysfunctional family.
Steve's character, Gil, is stressed out by a chaotic life. He wants very badly for things to settle down, and for his children to be normal.
He thought he hated the highs and lows of life
Gil was not happy with the curve balls life was throwing him.
His wife was unexpectedly pregnant, his son was in therapy, and
he had just lost a promotion at work.
He only had problems
He was complaining loudly to his wife about his problems when
his grandmother came into the room.
She said the following about a roller coaster ride she enjoyed
as a young woman:
"You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could
make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so
thrilled all together!"
WLS maintenance is a roller coaster ride
That is the way it is with maintenance after weight loss surgery.
You're frightened you're going to gain the weight back, sick of
thinking about all the changes you need to make, and excited
about your better health and smaller clothing size.
If you are struggling to maintain your weight, the excitement
is overshadowed by your worries, I bet. Has it been hard for
you to sit back and enjoy your WLS ride?
The trick is to change your problems into opportunities
Maybe your life is chaotic. Maybe you are finding it harder to
follow your WLS lifestyle than you used to. Perhaps you are
obsessing about food. It could even be that your work situation
has changed and you are now having trouble finding time to
exercise.
No matter. You can be miserable and choose to look at your life
like Gil was doing -- like a bunch of problems that you expect
to defeat you.
Or you can change your way of thinking.
Focus on your opportunities
Here's what I do. You can try it, too.
1) Make a list of your problems. That's right just list them
out. Make sure you let yourself experience self pity, sadness,
anger, and all the other emotions that go along with having
problems.
Leave room after each problem to add a sentence later.
2) Reframe your problems. To reframe is to look at your problems
differently. You'll write a sentence after each problem that
restates it as an opportunity.
Write your sentences like this: I used to have trouble with
(problem), but now I choose to (opportunity).
Here's an example:
Problem:
I have trouble drinking enough water.
Opportunity:
I used to have trouble drinking enough water, but now I choose
to drink a big glass of water the minute I get out of bed in the morning.
3) Every day when you wake up, read your list of opportunities.
Choose a couple to work on for that day. Some days you'll be
able to pick a challenging one, other days you'll gravitate
toward an easier one. Either way, though, you're living in
the solution. And living in the solution brings peace into
your life.
You choose your opportunities
I encourage you to spend some time thinking about what
opportunities your problems afford you. Maybe you can use
a problem to grow emotionally, or to develop a character
trait like courage.
The key is to use your problems
Be as creative as you want. Spend your time looking for the
opportunities in your life.
Gil eventually realized the beauty of the roller coaster ride.
He let go of his need for a problem-free life and embraced the
chaos.
So, what has this got to do with maintenance?
You know what to do to maintain your weight from a physical
standpoint, and if you don't you can ask your dietitian or
doctor.
The truth is it's usually the emotional and spiritual issues
that get people off track.
Reframe your problems to reframe your life
Looking at your problems as opportunities is a way to practice
a "can-do" attitude. It's a concrete way to begin to change
the way you think.
Maintenance will be a roller coaster ride and that's okay. It
sure beats the merry-go-round, on which you go around and
around, but never really get anywhere.